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Tools for when your child lies

September 25, 2013 by admin  
Filed under Peaceful Parenting

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As adults we are way ahead of children who are just learning about how this world functions. If your child lies once in a while or on a regular basis, here are some tools to help :)

When your child lies, notice your reaction. Are you reacting the way your parents did? Are you instantly triggered by the lie and have a hard time seeing what is really causing it?

Please take a breath and step out of your reaction the next time it happens and notice what is triggering you so deeply. Recognize that your child is not lying to purposely betray you for the sake of betraying you.

Know that you have the ability to guide your child to effective communication and greater self awareness when you get what is happening. Almost always, children lie to please us. Your reaction matters more than the lie - your reaction is what will guide your child. Punishment and threats don’t teach moral intelligence, they just create resentment and “sneaky” behavior. Read more

Julian Kalmar and Rick Beneteau want to know if you've got what it takes to step up and be a leader in the new world transformation. CLICK HERE to find out.

Do you believe these 7 lies about you as a mom?

June 19, 2013 by admin  
Filed under Peaceful Parenting

As a mom, have you ever noticed where you make yourself wrong so you can fit into someone else’s idea of what you should do be or have? Have you ever felt guilty because you decided to take on the responsibility of supermom and things didn’t always turn out like you planned and now some things just MUST BE your fault because you are the mom?

How many amazing women carry the burden of who they think they need to be and then make themselves wrong unconsciously when they can’t fit into the mental construct that they have built for themselves? What if you could just be? What if you could be free to choose what makes you feel free? What if you could choose from your inner knowing not from what you have been told, taught and feared for as long as you can remember?

Here are 7 lies that moms tell themselves and how to break free from them: Read more

Game plan for a responsible child

January 9, 2013 by admin  
Filed under Peaceful Parenting

As parents we all want to raise our children to be responsible. The bottom line is that this does not happen without some sort of “game plan”. Please consider this, when we try to force and exert power, we are not guiding a child to WANT to be responsible. This is key. Forcing causes resistence and resentment. Eventually, a child will comply so he does not get into trouble with you but he will not learn why it is important to care about being responsible and he may not grow to WANT to become responsible. How many adults have you come across in your lifetime that resent or reject responsibility?

Children will not get out of control without punishment, they get out of control when they don’t have appropriate guidance. There is a difference. With guidance you show and you embody what you are teaching. Can you bring attention to the ways and the reasons that you are responsible and communicate this to your child in a way that does not sound like lecturing? There are golden opportunities everywhere. How do you feel about responsibilty? What energy do you carry around that? Read more

Secrets of Happy Parents: Tips to keep the peace and the connection

September 5, 2012 by admin  
Filed under Peaceful Parenting

Happy parents are not a strange alien race descended from the heavens. They’re just ordinary people who’ve got a head start on the antidote for parenting in a media driven, fast paced and increasingly materialistic world. This antidote is called conscious parenting.

As a conscious parent there are some wonderful alternatives to stop children’s irritating behavior that are simple and effective and that you can begin using now.

TIP 1:
PLAN AHEAD
Read more

Mommy I’m Fat - what do you say?

July 4, 2012 by admin  
Filed under Peaceful Parenting

A concerned mom recently asked me, “What do I tell my child when she comes to me and says things like, Mommy, I am fat?” This is an issue that plagues alot of young girls and the scary part is that the girls are getting younger that are asking these questions.

Typically, a mom’s reaction to this is: “No honey you are not fat. Don’t be silly you are beautiful.” As much as you want to impress upon her how amazing she is and you want her to see how beautiful she is, through your eyes and your understanding, the above comment does very little to console your child.

More than anything your child wants you to hear her and help her get through what she is feeling - or at the very least, hear her and simply understand. “I feel fat”, usually has something else bubbling under the surface, like, “I feel sad, I feel left out, I feel angry, I feel lonely”. Read more

Unlocking Unconscious Patterns

May 17, 2012 by admin  
Filed under Peaceful Parenting

Have you ever caught yourself saying something  to your child and remarking to yourself, “That sounded exactly like my mom (my dad)”.  Sometimes this is followed by a chuckle because we are reflecting the comfort and nurturing that we have experienced from the way that we were parented, other times we are mortified because we’ve repeated a way of being that we swore as young adults, we would never adopt.

Right or wrong, good or bad is a lot less important than becoming aware of unconscious patterns. The more aware we become the easier it gets to make choices in the momentthat reflect who we want to be. Read more

Why punishment doesn’t teach respect

October 12, 2011 by admin  
Filed under Peaceful Parenting

As parents, we all want our children to respect us. We work hard to ensure that our children have everything that they need and when we feel disrespected, sometimes it sends us reeling into reactive mode. In that state of reaction, we end up handing out punishment, usually in anger and frustration.

Why wouldn’t a disrespected parent feel angry? Why wouldn’t we feel upset when one of our children stands up in defiance against a reasonable request? It is perfectly understandable. The only problem is that nine time out of ten, when we feel angry and really disrespected we fly into reactive mode and dole out the punishment, sometimes in heavy doses. We do this with negative energy and shouting, in some cases.

While it is very beneficial and valuable for children to learn the consequenses of their actions and it is important for parents to establish boundaries and how things are done in your family, it is equally important for parents to take a breath and really think the “punishment” through. Sending children to their room, into a time out, grounding them on the spot and telling them things like if they don’t do….. they will never, ever get to…. again, does not plant seeds of respect - it does, however plant seeds of resentment and weakens the bond between you and your child. Read more

What We Are Not Responsible For

June 29, 2011 by admin  
Filed under Peaceful Parenting

As parents we are well aware of the myriad of responsibilities that are placed on us daily. On top of that we are also responsible for the emotional, physical, spiritual and psychological well being of our children.

All this responsibility comes with a certain amount of stress. Before long we begin to get used to our level of stress and treat it as “normal”. We were never meant to bear such stress upon ourselves and sometimes that stress begins to erode a parent’s joy for life and all the possibilities that are waiting to unfold. Stress can fuel reactive behavior, making it very difficult for a parent to maintain the role of a calm leader.

One thing that we lose sight of is that we are NOT responsible for the “destiny” of our children. What does that mean exactly? It means that we were never meant to be in control of what path our children are meant to walk. We cannot possibly be in control of the million different events, circumstances and situations that touch our children’s lives. Trying to do so would cause great suffering on the part of the parent because we have not been granted that power. We do, however, have the power to model, guide and nurture our children to become the best that they can be. Then have the wisdom to get out of their way and watch, with an open loving heart, as they create their own lives and make their own mistakes. Read more

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