Outgrowing the Life You’ve Known: The Loneliness & Loss of Blossoming

“It’s lonely to follow your bliss,” said Deb, a student in a recent workshop. “Say more,” I asked, trying not to salivate. I confess it’s a topic near and dear to my heart lately.

“I used to have all these friends. We’d eat, drink, and bitch about our lives. We’d tell stories of stupid co-workers, Cretan, evil bosses, you know,” she said. Of course, I remembered that. “Trading distressing stories like baseball cards– and suddenly, you have nothing ‘sexy’ to swap because you’re focused on your dreams now, not your setbacks,” I said. “Exactly,” said Deb. “But now I don’t have that camaraderie, because I’m not pissed off anymore. No one from my old life wants to hear how much fun I’m having. And, frankly, I don’t want to hear how much their lives don’t work.”

This is the “problem” with growing. Sometimes, in order to connect with yourself, you have to separate from what you’ve known. The aliveness of love will ruin your chances of stagnation. It will call you out. Success demands loss. Sometimes, we have to let go of waning definitions, circumstances, or relationships that no longer reflect us so that we can blossom wide. Read more