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Love yourself more than your image

July 26, 2012 by admin  
Filed under Purpose and Passion

Have you ever ignored what you really want to do…because you thought you should do something else? Have you let an “image of yourself” make your decisions… rather than your True Self? Our real lives come from real desire. This past New Year’s Eve, I learned that real desire is about letting go of “perfect pictures,” and loving myself–more than my image.

I have never liked New Years Eve. For me, it’s more like New Insecurities Eve. Some stupid date on a calendar will send me into wondering: Is this a good enough way to spend this night? Am I as alive as I should be? Are other people having the time of their lives right now? How come I don’t have strappy shoes—and would they go with purple sweat pants? In my twenties and thirties, I imagined dancing at parties in penthouses with flashing lights, confetti, streamers, electric strangers and dangerous kisses. I felt boring eating take-out lo mein and watching the ball drop in Times Square from the dimness of my living room. In later years, I’ve felt the need to perform some sacred ritual for the New Year, chant my way past midnight, meditate, or write poetry at just the right hour.

This past New Years Eve I told myself I’d meditate from 11:30p.m to 12:00a.m. and bring in the New Year in prayer, gratitude and a sitting lotus position. But truth is, I wanted to curl up on the couch and watch a movie. And by the time I admitted this, I also realized that the movie would go straight through past 12a.m. and I’d miss “the magic moment.” So I sat reading instead and waiting for 11:30p.m. Still I squirmed in my chair, feeling like a five year old in the back seat of a car listening to the adults talk and kicking the upholstery. I really wanted to watch a movie.

“You’re just being lazy,” I told myself, “you’re trying to avoid meditation. This is the distracted mind that must be disciplined into focus.” Some part of me donned orange robes within, wiped its serene brow, and continued annoying me. I felt worse. I was already tired and out of sorts and now I was worried that I was distracted from “true purpose” and would disappoint the Dalai Lama or Wayne Dyer should they stop in to check. If I was a true pilgrim of purpose, wouldn’t I want to seek the light? But truth is, I wanted to find the remote control. “I really want to watch a movie,” said this small voice within. Thankfully, the hand of grace somehow lifted the veils–and I caught a glimpse of what I was doing to myself. Bulldozing and tormenting myself into a sacred ritual. That’s not self-love. And that’s not the spirituality I believe in.

Finally I saw that it wasn’t my guidance that was telling me to meditate. It was my self-consciousness, my self-righteousness and my inner bully. So I popped in a video and curled up on my holy futon. I felt relief and gratitude wash over me as benedictions.

I watched Cider House Rules. Ironically, wink, wink from the Universe, it’s a movie about not following the rules and making up your own based on present circumstances. It’s also a very touching movie about a young boy growing up in an orphanage and finding his way in life. As I saw these young boys and girls without families, I dropped my own self-attack and cried tears for others. Suddenly my desire to help the world, helped me. It freed me. It touched me back into the part of myself that wants to give love and make a difference any way she can. That self isn’t as concerned with how she looks to others on New Year’s Eve. I felt big inside and rich with mission: a desire to love and serve others. As the credits of the movie rolled, I realized I’d had more of a spiritual shift than I would have in meditation. It’s all meditation after all. Every moment, is a moment with my mind.

So dump your pictures of what you’re supposed to do. Listen to your heart. Your heart is not attached to what things look like. Your heart measures what they feel like. Your heart will keep you honest and on your true path. You will find healing and wonder in unexpected places. But only if you dare to walk past those glossy one-sided expectations– and into the bright and shadowed territory of listening to your heart.

Copyright © Tama Kieves  All rights reserved.

Tama J. Kieves is the bestselling author of THIS TIME I DANCE! Creating the Work You Love (How One Harvard Lawyer Left It All to Have It All!) and is a sought-after speaker and career coach who has helped thousands world-wide to discover and live their true work in the world. Visit her at www.ThisTimeIDance and sign up for free inspiration and support through her monthly e-newsletter or download her Free Transformational Report on “Finding Your Calling Now.”

Julian Kalmar and Rick Beneteau want to know if you've got what it takes to step up and be a leader in the new world transformation. CLICK HERE to find out.

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