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How to Achieve More Peace as a Parent

July 14, 2010 by admin  
Filed under Peaceful Parenting

As you practice conscious parenting, it is important to become aware of your inner purpose. What does that mean exactly?

Your purpose as a parent is to take on the responsibility of addressing the physical, emotional and spiritual needs of your child. That is your outer purpose. Your inner purpose is to nurture the conscious awareness that is growing in you that helps you align yourself with what is rightfully yours; peace, joy, love and creative energy.

So what is the most effective way to do that? How can you stay centered when you feel like reacting when things get difficult?

First of all, when things are going well, this is the easy part, start focusing on being really present and connected to your child’s world. Clear your mind of judgment, and mental commentary and just watch, with an open heart, how your child plays, reacts, explores and expresses. “Tune in”, so to speak, with what is taking place in the moment without allowing any other thoughts to distract you.

You are practicing being present and aware. The more you can do this, the less you will be chained to feelings of frustration when things go less than smoothly. You can only understand this fully if you practice it. Give it a try!

When things get tough, YOU HAVE A CHOICE. You can choose to focus on the worry, anxiety, anger, fear or whatever reaction a particular circumstance provokes in you, or you can CHOOSE to stop limiting thoughts in their tracks. I have found, through personal experience, that this exercise works incredibly well:

Begin by thinking CANCEL, to the negative thoughts when they arise, and immediately choose to repeat:

I am grateful for this opportunity to practice awareness.I am grateful for receiving the inner guidance that I need right now.I am grateful for my ability to remain calm and focused.

By choosing to cancel old reactive patterns as they arise, you are creating a space for your inner wisdom to shine through and guide you to take right action.

This DOES NOT mean that you just resign yourself to your child’s challenging behavior. You are initiating calm assertiveness.

Negative situations will continue to show up throughout your life, however, your response to them will be dramatically different and your child WILL feel it.

You are not suppressing your emotions, you are watching them and basically you are telling them; ” I see you, thank you for showing up, you best be on your way now.”

Your negative reactions teach you exactly when and where you are blocking yourself from the peace that you deserve.

Some people get frustrated and respond with, “This (whatever situation is causing you to be upset) just happened, I did not create this, anyone in their right mind would react (however you reacted) to this problem.”

If you want to find peace, you will let go of the belief that it is the outside world (person, circumstance or situation) that is causing you to suffer. YOUR REACTION to it is the only thing you can control. Your reaction will bring you closer to peace, or will take you further away from it.

When will you be free from life’s problems? The answer is never. How can this be a good thing?

Because without the fuel for resistance (problems fuel resistance) there would be no possibility for conscious expansion. There would be nothing to engage you to evolve - there would be nothing to wake you up to the truth: you are perfect, amazing, ever expanding creative beings and you are not separate from the beautiful flow of life.

When you begin to see problems in this light, they take on a whole other meaning. You are no longer confronted with a “cruel world” where things that are happening are not fair. You are alive in a universe that loves you so vastly, it gives you what you need to awaken. It also gives you what you ask for! Your dominant daily thoughts are the blueprints that create your experiences.

What are you paying attention to?
What is your mind filled with on a regular basis?

Begin appreciating who you are on a daily basis. Appreciate the things that bring you joy when you are with your child. Appreciate your commitment to parent consciously. Appreciate that you are doing the best you can and that you are expanding in awareness everyday. Appreciate that your child is an expression of love (even though it may not be obvious sometimes :) Invite love into your conversations with your child and allow that love to become the bridge that takes you to seeing your child with fresh eyes.

Melinda Asztalos is a parent coach, speaker, author and the founder of Life Positive by Design. She assists parents through a conscious parenting process that enables them to achieve and sustain, positive solutions to their specific parenting challenges. For more information, Please visit: http://lifepositivebydesign.com

Julian Kalmar and Rick Beneteau want to know if you've got what it takes to step up and be a leader in the new world transformation. CLICK HERE to find out.

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